If there's one movie that depicts Trick or Treating in a horrifying way, it's this movie. There's actually not one tale here, but I'd guess 3 or 4 of them all wrapped up together and happening all on Halloween night. What's especially cool is that they all happen in the same town and at the same time, so if you are watching carefully you can see bits and pieces of the other tales in the background while watching one of them, and more importantly, they are all interlinked, so none of them feel seperate in any way.
It starts out with a couple coming home from a party or something. They walk up to their front door and the woman, adorable as she is, immediately starts whining about having to take down all the decorations. Apparently, she hates Halloween. Yea, why are all the hot ones total bitches? I don't know. So the husband wants some tail, and the women finally tells him to go inside and put on "the tape" while she takes down all the Halloween decorations and puts out the Jack-o-Lantern. The husband warns her not to put it out until morning, because it's tradition, but she ignores him, and while he's inside watching the, ah, "Nature Special," she's taking down the fake ghosts and various decorations and BAM! She's brutally murdered.
And that's just in the first few minutes. And Anna Paquin's innit! She's cute in a country girl next door kinda way. This movie was made before she starred in the True Blood series, and since she's been in multiple horror productions, I'm keeping my eye on her.
This movie has all things Halloween. Murderers, Vampires, Werewolves, Trick or Treating, awesome acting, there's even murdered kiddies! You sure don't see that in every movie. I've had it on DVD since last year, and I'm going to watch it every Halloween from now until there's no such thing as DVD players. Hopefully I can raise my kids on horror movies and they will like this movie as much as I do. Nothing like raising your kids right, I always say.
So that's it for my 31 days of Halloween movie reviews. I regret not being able to review a few movies, like The Fog, or the actual Halloween series, which would have been nice but I haven't managed to see an entire Halloween movie all month. Maybe next year! :-)
Speaking of killer movie series, I want to weigh in on the whole "Who is the greatest killer" in the movies thing. They've done Freddy Vs Jason, and frankly, I wanted to review the three great staples in horror movie villains in honor of this time of year, ranked by where they come in the list.
# 3 - Freddy Krueger. Freddy was a child molester while alive. The townspeople found him, killed him, and burned his remains in an old furnace. Since then, he mostly kills the people that live on Elm Street, can only kill them while they sleep, only kills them one at a time after a long period of toying with them, and generally has little or no contact with the realm of the living. Occasionally, the living can even beat him in his own realm of dreams, and sometimes he isn't powerful enough to actually kill anyone, unless it's by talking them to death. Nowadays they don't even make movies about him, and if the townspeople were brave enough to kill him, well he can't be that scary. I mean, his trademark is an orange and green sweater and one funky glove, so unless you are scared of bad fashion, only the kiddies have to worry about this one. Current status: Substanceless, forgotten ghost.
# 2 - Jason Voorhees. Jason was a, shall we say, mentally challenged kid while alive, who grew into a murderer who stalks the woods around Camp Crystal Lake and kills naughty campers after they killed his mother. He was even resurrected from the dead at one point and became even more unstoppable, but drowning him in Crystal Lake usually makes him quiescent for a few years until the movie producers want more money. His actual life was ended by a small boy with a machete, but his undead life continues. The only people who usually have to worry about this one are campers near Crystal Lake who smoke pot, drink a lot, or have wanton sex with a fellow camper. He usually wears a hockey mask to disguise his disfigured, now rotting, face. Current status: mostly unstoppable drowned zombie.
# 1 - Michael Myers. By most accounts, Michael Myers was a typical boy from a typical suburb who at the age of like 8 or something, decided to just murder his entire family with a kitchen knife for no particular reason. Rob Zombie tried to remake him into a boy from a broken home who just snapped, but the other two killers on our list didn't even start killing until they became adults, so this kid must have been seriously evil at birth to start with. Michael Myers will sit patiently for years in an insane asylum until he hears a vague rumor of any surviving member of his family, and will then carve a bloody swath through the countryside, slaughtering everything in his path on his way to try and kill them, stopping frequently to murder entire stations full of police or just to kill randomly along the way. He's silent, sneaky, fast, and half his kills are in the back, because you almost never see this guy coming. He's been shot repeatedly by entire police forces, stabbed in the eyes, blown up, burned, and still he keeps coming. Nothing even slows this guy down. He's never even been killed, to my knowledge, and not only does he not stay in a specific area (except perhaps Haddonfield, Illinois), but this sonofabitch will come into your home and kill you in your sleep, and then kill your neighbors just for living next door to you. Plus, he wears William Shatner's pasty white face! You can't get more terrifying than that. Current status: Unstoppable killing machine, probably waiting in an asylum somewhere for word on his next of kin so he can track them down and kill them on the next Halloween no matter where they may be.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on all things horror, at least until i come up with new thoughts. Happy Halloween everybody! :-)
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