Re-Ability

So here's the greatest test a movie or game has to pass for me to endorse it as good... Re-watch-ability, or replay-ability.

Not that my endorsement means much. I mean, to try the game or watch the movie, I've already spent the money on it, and my readers don't even number in the double digits as far as I know, so it's not like companies are losing millions because I don't like a game.

But if you can't watch a movie again, or play a game again after the first few times, then it wasn't much to begin with, was it? I mean, you take a movie like transformers 2. I saw it once, and it was ok. Yes, dimitri, I am talking to you, it was ok to watch once. So I notice, it's come on cable several times since then, and I always switch away from it. Well. Unless it's the part where he's at college, that decepticon transformer chick is pretty hot. But I switch after that. Whereas, I have seen Kung Fu Panda like, 75 times. And I will keep watching it. Why? What makes it so much better than transformers 2? Entertainment companies would spend billions trying to find out the answer, but I'm going to sum it up in two words.

Shia Labeouf.

Yes, that's correct. That's what makes one movie watchable over and over again, and another movie you can watch once and then use the DVD as a coaster. Shia Labeouf makes coasters. Jack Black makes heavily used and rewatched DVD's. Daniel craig makes coasters. Pierce Brosnan makes DVD's.

Now I am sure that's not the only reason. Transformers 2 was kind of a bloated gasbag of a movie where the main character, which should have been optimus prime, spent half the movie dead, being carted around by the US military. And we're not talking about in a funny way, like Weekend at Bernies, here. Whereas Kung Fu panda zipped through it's runtime with a constant stream of action or jokes and very little filler, yet had an eminently watchable plot mixed in with funny gags. Plus, let's be honest, the characters in Kung Fu panda were lovable. Whereas, if Shia Labeouf had been slaughtered by a decepticon at some point, I'd have cheered.

So why DO entertainment companies cast annoying losers as main protagonists? Well, I don't think it's because all the good roles have been taken. Maybe it's a resounding lack of qualified actors? I mean, you get people like gene hackman retiring, and you are left with... shia labeouf. I mean, come on, for every gene hackman out there, I am sure there's about 50 shia's, and they are cheaper to get and, I would guess, easier to con into doing piece of crap movies with bad acting and horrible plots. I seriously doubt gene hackman would have consented to acting in transformers 2, you get what I am saying? I mean, who the hell else are they going to cast in the lead role? Nicholas Cage? :-o

Then you get movies like Drag Me To Hell, where you hate the main character so much, you want her stupid ass dragged off to hell and tortured for eternity. They need to make more movies like that, I think. I don't think anyone would mind seeing movies where horrible managers and sexually harassing bosses are beaten and dragged off to hell, right? I mean, shit, think 9 to 5 here, that movie with dolly parton and lily tomlin way back in the 80's. Everyone wants to see their dipshit bosses get their comeuppance! Let's do this with hollywood movie producers getting savaged by demons! We'll use real producers, too, to give it that extra special kick! lol

Eh, but that would be original, and hollywood doesn't do original. Oh well. I tried.