Communication

Relationships are all about communication. If you can't communicate, you can't impart ideas, you can't explain things, and most importantly, you can't tell a police officer why you woke up naked hugging the red and blue lights on top of his police cruiser. So why in a world where communication is everything, is it so hard for us to communicate? The answer? People are stupid.

I know I've talked about this before, but it bears repeating. Some people are dumber than a box of rocks. I don't even mean regular rocks, either, I mean really dumb rocks. Regular rocks are like geniuses compared to these rocks. I mean, these are DUMB ROCKS. I hope I am communicating effectively here.

I'm not saying I am immune to the whole dumb box-o-rocks scenario, either, I mean, I was just reading an article on the internet that said socially rejected people like us nerds, geeks and outcasts have problems maintaining relationships and interacting correctly in a social setting. There was specific emphasis in this article about how we get bullied more than normal people because we miss the social clues that would otherwise be obvious to us if we knew what we were looking for.

So, what social clues should I be looking for, someone's fist in my face? That seems like a pretty obvious clue that I am about to be bullied. Which would mean the bullies in society are responding perfectly to social clues by beating the crap out of us? Well, I am glad they are maintaining correct social relationships, then! This article is ridiculous, I'm not sure why I read it.

But obviously, geeks, nerds, and other social outcasts can have problems interacting with others. Well, old-school geeks and nerds, maybe. Today's geeks have ipods and hot model girlfriends and run cell phone companies. But I digress, because I am an old school nerd, and frankly, I don't consider anyone who is socially acceptable to be an actual nerd. I mean, it really goes against the whole grain of society, if you are socially accepted and popular, you are definitely not a nerd. It's like rule number 3 in the nerd handbook, or something. Speaking of whole grain, I hear it's good for your health, if by being good for your health they mean spending most of your time on the toilet.

Which brings me, in a roundabout way, back to my point. At least we old-school geeks are smart. And generally, not dumber than a box of rocks. Like the people I talk to every day. Take today, for instance, I had a person call in asking for help with "the thing." You know, the "internet thing." You see, she was trying to use the thing and the thing came up saying there was an error in the thing and the thing just won't work now. Do these people not understand that the word "thing" is a generic term that could mean ANY thing? I felt like responding with "Well duh, there's an error in the thing, click on the thing and type in the thing and click ok on the thing and that should fix the thing!" Then again, she probably would just have said "okay!" and hung up. Might even have fixed the thing, who knows?

I heard an ad on the radio this morning for this play, I think it was, "defending the caveman" or something like that. I'm guessing it's something about how guys can be hard for women to understand. Well, duh. Not only are men and women completely different critters, we are also completely stupid when it comes to figuring out the opposite sex. I have a solution. Stop talking, bend her over the kitchen table and make rabid doggy-sex with her. Who cares what we have to say to each other? It's not about the talking, it's all about the COMMUNICATION, BABY!!! And once you've done that, ask her how well you're communicatin' with her. I bet she says you're extremely eloquent and wants to talk again later. Eloquent means "hung like a bear" in nerdgeekian.

And hey, if you want to try that with your local bully, that'd probably work since most of them are homophobic bastards trying to hide how gay they are. But hey, that's healthy social interaction, right?