Okay, the fall TV season has officially started!
I certainly haven't seen everything the new fall season has to offer, but let me give you my impressions of things I have seen...
Grimm: Grimm premiered it's fall season back in august, for those of us in the know. Renewed from last season, it's a grittier take on the whole Grimm's fairly tales than the likes of "Once upon a time." And before I get arguments about how gritty that show may or may not be, let me first say, I've never seen it. All I know is, once upon a time is based on american fairy tales, whereas Grimm is based on the german ones. The german ones, as you may or may not know, are tales designed to scare the shit out of kids so they stay out of the forest and safe in their beds. For instance, Red Riding Hood, in german fables, actually resulted in the death of little Red. Grandma's teeth are the better to eat you with, and all that. Note that the helpful woodsman with an ax never happens to appear anywhere else in the story... he just happens to show up at the end to kill the big bad wolf. German version, little red is wolf food. In any case, Grimm had an excellent season last year, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this one. Grimm is on hiatus until tomorrow, when it returns with the rest of it's season, if I am not mistaken.
NCIS: The new season premiered tuesday, along with it's spinoff show, NCIS.. uh... los angeles? I think that's the one. NCIS has been around forever. It's a show full of strong characters, and I love every one of them. The geeky technical experts, the macho agents, the knowledgeable forensics people, even mark harmon as the badass head of the department. My only problem is, I don't actually like the show. Yea, the NCIS premise is kind of done to death at this point. It's cops with navy badges instead of ... uh.. whatever kind normal cops carry. So it's just another CSI clone. Sure, the characters are great and likeable and I wish Ziva and tony would just bump uglies and get it over with, but how much longer are these people going to be stuck working together? It's been 8 years! A normal department would have had tons of personnel changes by now. Ziva would be back in israel, Mcgee would be in forensic technology, Abby would be ... well, probably on unemployment because she's too quirky to hold a real job, and Jethro would probably be a hired assassin working for the government. Which, would probably be a better show than NCIS. Also, I don't like anyone in the spinoff except the director, the tiny little aged woman. She's awesome. They should drop everyone else on the show with the exception of her, and the hot techie geek girl, and start over.
Person of Interest: With the addition of... Amy Ackerman? I think that's her name. To the show last season, things got spicy. Now it turns out she's a hired killer with an insane zest for the next step in human evolution. But she's wrong, of course. Humans have not stopped evolving. Supposedly over the last 3000 years we have had so many changes to human DNA that scientists are still trying to map them all. I think we're evolving into the Borg (yes, from star trek) but nobody believes me. Or, is intimidated when I tell them "resistance is futile." Especially not the women. Sigh. In any case, I love any show where there's a guy going around killing people, especially people who deserve to get killed.
On a side note, did you ever notice how popular shows are that show someone who deserves to die getting killed? I think it's pretty much in every show on every network, there's someone who deserves to die, and Oh, he dies! Makes you feel good, doesn't it? Wholly unlike life, where the people who deserve to die usually are rich, self-involved bastards who own your entire ass because you are living paycheck to paycheck and can't afford to lose your job. Like the movie Horrible Bosses. Where Jennifer Aniston was just ... one very hot boss. But I digress. There's a lot of righteous anger in this country, methinks. Probably for good reason. Sometimes I am almost glad I am still unemployed.
Last Resort: This new show is about the crew of a nuclear attack sub that goes rogue. Basically, they are ordered to launch nuclear weapons at an unsuspecting country and want to confirm these orders since they seem so suspicious. So a battleship launches a missile at them and nearly destroys them. Which pisses them off. It'd piss me off too. So they head south, put in at some tropical locale and take over an island with a NATO listening post so they can monitor stuff while trying to hold off the US navy. This show seems ridiculous. There's lots of action, yes. The acting is superb. I like the actors and characters. But holding off the entire US is just silly. I am pretty sure they'd just nuke the island to cover things up, call it an accidental explosion and sweep the dust under the rug. But can the action carry it when there's just not enough of a human element to the show? Basically, it's all about corrupt politics and military personnel at this point, which is nothing I can relate to. I may enjoy the action, but I won't keep watching if that's all there is to it.
I am sure I missed a show or two, but I'll catch up on what I missed next week, in between horror movie reviews. They start monday night! october first! I can't wait. I had to watch a couple horror movies this week because netflix was clearing them out, but they weren't worthy of a review.
Of slight disdain (not interest) was the prequel to the prequel of the Scorpion King (scorpion king 2, maybe?), where a very young actor plays a very young matthias. This movie was pretty crappy. Oh it wasn't cheaply made or anything, but the acting was sub-par and the actors were almost all unknowns, or just poor actors. I guess they spent all the money on special effects. Supposedly this young boy joins the "black scorpions," an army of vicious mercenaries, to learn how to fight so he can avenge his father's death. So when he graduates, never having seen actual combat, as far as I can tell, he should be the equal of any green recruit, right? Wrong! This guy kicks black scorpion ass all up and down this movie. How he became so superior to every hardened veteran is never explained, but not only can he kick black scorpion ass, but his girlfriend (who was never trained) and some random chinese guy they pick up along the way, can also kick black scorpion ass after ass. For the most feared and well trained army of mercenaries in the entire kingdom, these guys don't seem to be very good at their job! And, what's up with the girlfriend? When they are shown as kids in the movie, they appear to be of similar age, and then when they are adults, she looks 30 and he looks 18. lol Unless she spent her formative years as an opium-whore, I doubt the 6 years little matthias spent away at camp learning to be a good soldier would have aged her so horribly. Also, the plot didn't make a lick of sense, but there were mythical beasts, magic swords, and shit like that, so that's forgivable. However, the total lack of female nudity was a glaring flaw. How can you have a swords and sorcery movie and not have female nudity in it? That's like having a dentist's office without a drill!
That's all for now. Four days til the horror movie marathons begin! (sings) I'm so excited... and I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it! Uh, yes. I sing the pointer sisters when i get excited. So? The pointer sisters are very manly. Shut up.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Review - The Grey
In preparation for my month-long horror fest movie review next month, I thought I better get in the habit of blogging more and actually reviewing some movies. Luckily, Netflix served up a big heaping dish of something I wanted to watch for a while, in the form of "The Grey" starring Liam Neeson, now available on Netflix.
I'm not really sure how old Liam is at this point in his life, but it seems he's "taken" (geddit, geddit?) on new life in his acting career in the form of an action hero. Unlike the likes of sylvester stallone or arnold schwarzenegger, Liam is the type of action hero who is, shall we say, more mentally prepared for life's little hurdles than the average man, but physically looks just like the rest of us. For those of us watching his films, unlike being buffed up like your average commando, which most viewers can't really manage, Mr. Neeson makes you feel like you could survive the action in his movies just by thinking like he does.
Of course... as the wise men know, changing the way you think is a lot harder than changing the way you look.
"The Grey starts out pretty bleak in setting. Alaskan wilderness. Oil drilling/processing rig, I should think. We meet the main character right off, and his job is obvious. He's been hired by the oil company to protect the riggers from wolves. Now I know it's already a stretch to go that far, I mean, for an oil company to spend money on an actual hunter to protect their workers just seems silly to start with, since I'd think they'd just put up a big fence around the compound and leave it at that, but the acting in this film is so good that that did not even occur to me until just now. In any case, our main protagonist, in the form of Liam Neeson, is having a rough time getting over the death of his wife. You can pretty much figure that out in the first two minutes. But in any case, and they never really tell you why, Liam boards a plane back to civilization. Maybe he's decided to give living with people another try? Who knows. They never say. And then... the plane ices over and goes down in the wilderness.
There's a funny sort of brain teaser joke my sister asked my mom a few days ago. She couldn't figure it out. It went: "A plane crashes between the borders of this country, and that country. According to international law, where do they bury the survivors?" No, don't bother going to Google and looking up international law on plane crashes. All you really have to do to figure out the answer is know how to listen. A skill my mother hasn't managed to master yet. She probably won't ever try. In any case, you don't bury the survivors, unless you are trying to cover something up. lol
To be honest the beginning of this movie was almost as depressing as the Jesse Stone movies with Tom Selleck. Check those out only if you have the positive attitude of a Pollyanna with an infinite supply of cocaine, because watching a few of those in a row will drive you to suicide. Not because the movies are bad, because they aren't. They are made for TV, so they aren't exactly great, but the mood is just the somber "i'll barely make it through winter" attitude of the people of the far northeast, and of course, the colder northern regions. Talk about seasonally affected depression! Mr. Selleck does a great impression of a man barely managing not to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.
Which, of course, means he's a good actor, and isn't that really what the movies are all about? I saw a review on netflix by someone who tore apart the way the wolves acted in this movie, and the poor special effects they used to portray them. Apparently, they made him laugh. I'm not sure what he expected? I mean, it's not like the wolf packs are hiring themselves out to film crews in the hopes of eating whole casts of movies. They have to fake it somehow. Suspension of disbelief wasn't even a problem for this movie, at least not for me. Sure the wolves weren't real. I mean, let's be serious here. You get a bunch of real wolves and real people, take them into the real alaskan or canadian wilderness, put them in real life or death situations in the middle of the real woods, and you're really going to lose some damn fine actors. lol
The acting is what makes the film. The writing makes the book, the dialog makes the screenplay, but the acting is what makes the movie. I don't care if you are in "Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes" or not, if you are acting like the tomatoes are lethal, and you are a good enough actor to get that feeling across to the audience, the movie is going to be well received. I only mention that movie in particular because I remember seeing George Clooney in it years ago and he stops in mid scene and looks at the camera as if to say "Yep, the stagehands just rolled a bunch of tomatoes past my feet." Totally destroyed the rest of the movie for me. I stopped watching it right then and there. I'm not going to say I was on the edge of my seat in suspense over that one, but if the actors can't even try to take it seriously, then neither is your audience. The Hammer films of the late 60's are an ideal example of this. I mean, you give Christopher Lee a pair of plastic fangs and some fake blood, give Peter Cushing a wooden stake and a cross, and you've got two hours of entertaining film. You don't need great special effects. You just need good actors.
"The Grey" had excellent actors, was well written, was chock full of action, and pretty much left me slightly stirred, unlike a martini for Mr Bond. Seriously, they should get Liam Neeson to play James Bond. He'd be a thousand times better than Daniel Craig. Of course, they probably can't afford him now that the bond movies have gone into the toilet. I can't think of one part of "The Grey" that was slow except the first couple minutes. It's one of those movies where you think "Oh, this is going to be one of those long mental movies where you have to think about what's going on." And it is that kind of movie. You do think. You think JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME because that's what happens. It's not a movie about thinking. You get glimpses into the thoughts of the characters in this movie. They don't last long. Usually because that person dies while in mid-thought. lol Al the thinking goes on in the mind of the audience. You wonder "What the fuck would I do if I was in that situation? How long would I last?" In my case, I probably wouldn't have lasted long enough to be cast as an extra in the film. I'd have been like "Fuck this guys. It's too damn cold out here. I'm going home, keep the money." lol
Definitely one to watch again. I'm sure it'll survive the rewatchability test. My deceased father used to love good action movies, and I swear this is the first one since his death 6 years ago that i thought "I'm sorry my dad didn't live long enough to see this movie. He would have loved it." And he would have. It's a great action movie, with great acting, decent enough special effects that I didn't laugh, and it certainly didn't give me enough time to critique the film while I was watching it. lol
Just a tip, you'll want to watch this one past the end of the credits. I'm not sure exactly what I saw at the end there, but it gave me hope for a sequel. lol
In other news, the exceedingly hot and dry summer here has come to an end. We dropped back into the normal temperature range two weeks ago, and I've been chilly ever since. I can already tell there's a hard winter coming. So, all I have to do is survive the next 8 months until the temps warm up again. Wheee! lol I am gearing up for horror movie month in October! Be sure to check back here every day for new horror movie reviews starting october first! I've been saving up all my horror movies in my netflix queue. It's 500 movies strong and bursting at the seams with new arrivals. With any luck I'll find 31 movies I've never seen before, but at the very least, I'll try to make them movies I haven't reviewed before, just to keep things interesting here. Sure, the rest of the year my blog sucks, but so what? It's good in october! lol
I'm not really sure how old Liam is at this point in his life, but it seems he's "taken" (geddit, geddit?) on new life in his acting career in the form of an action hero. Unlike the likes of sylvester stallone or arnold schwarzenegger, Liam is the type of action hero who is, shall we say, more mentally prepared for life's little hurdles than the average man, but physically looks just like the rest of us. For those of us watching his films, unlike being buffed up like your average commando, which most viewers can't really manage, Mr. Neeson makes you feel like you could survive the action in his movies just by thinking like he does.
Of course... as the wise men know, changing the way you think is a lot harder than changing the way you look.
"The Grey starts out pretty bleak in setting. Alaskan wilderness. Oil drilling/processing rig, I should think. We meet the main character right off, and his job is obvious. He's been hired by the oil company to protect the riggers from wolves. Now I know it's already a stretch to go that far, I mean, for an oil company to spend money on an actual hunter to protect their workers just seems silly to start with, since I'd think they'd just put up a big fence around the compound and leave it at that, but the acting in this film is so good that that did not even occur to me until just now. In any case, our main protagonist, in the form of Liam Neeson, is having a rough time getting over the death of his wife. You can pretty much figure that out in the first two minutes. But in any case, and they never really tell you why, Liam boards a plane back to civilization. Maybe he's decided to give living with people another try? Who knows. They never say. And then... the plane ices over and goes down in the wilderness.
There's a funny sort of brain teaser joke my sister asked my mom a few days ago. She couldn't figure it out. It went: "A plane crashes between the borders of this country, and that country. According to international law, where do they bury the survivors?" No, don't bother going to Google and looking up international law on plane crashes. All you really have to do to figure out the answer is know how to listen. A skill my mother hasn't managed to master yet. She probably won't ever try. In any case, you don't bury the survivors, unless you are trying to cover something up. lol
To be honest the beginning of this movie was almost as depressing as the Jesse Stone movies with Tom Selleck. Check those out only if you have the positive attitude of a Pollyanna with an infinite supply of cocaine, because watching a few of those in a row will drive you to suicide. Not because the movies are bad, because they aren't. They are made for TV, so they aren't exactly great, but the mood is just the somber "i'll barely make it through winter" attitude of the people of the far northeast, and of course, the colder northern regions. Talk about seasonally affected depression! Mr. Selleck does a great impression of a man barely managing not to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.
Which, of course, means he's a good actor, and isn't that really what the movies are all about? I saw a review on netflix by someone who tore apart the way the wolves acted in this movie, and the poor special effects they used to portray them. Apparently, they made him laugh. I'm not sure what he expected? I mean, it's not like the wolf packs are hiring themselves out to film crews in the hopes of eating whole casts of movies. They have to fake it somehow. Suspension of disbelief wasn't even a problem for this movie, at least not for me. Sure the wolves weren't real. I mean, let's be serious here. You get a bunch of real wolves and real people, take them into the real alaskan or canadian wilderness, put them in real life or death situations in the middle of the real woods, and you're really going to lose some damn fine actors. lol
The acting is what makes the film. The writing makes the book, the dialog makes the screenplay, but the acting is what makes the movie. I don't care if you are in "Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes" or not, if you are acting like the tomatoes are lethal, and you are a good enough actor to get that feeling across to the audience, the movie is going to be well received. I only mention that movie in particular because I remember seeing George Clooney in it years ago and he stops in mid scene and looks at the camera as if to say "Yep, the stagehands just rolled a bunch of tomatoes past my feet." Totally destroyed the rest of the movie for me. I stopped watching it right then and there. I'm not going to say I was on the edge of my seat in suspense over that one, but if the actors can't even try to take it seriously, then neither is your audience. The Hammer films of the late 60's are an ideal example of this. I mean, you give Christopher Lee a pair of plastic fangs and some fake blood, give Peter Cushing a wooden stake and a cross, and you've got two hours of entertaining film. You don't need great special effects. You just need good actors.
"The Grey" had excellent actors, was well written, was chock full of action, and pretty much left me slightly stirred, unlike a martini for Mr Bond. Seriously, they should get Liam Neeson to play James Bond. He'd be a thousand times better than Daniel Craig. Of course, they probably can't afford him now that the bond movies have gone into the toilet. I can't think of one part of "The Grey" that was slow except the first couple minutes. It's one of those movies where you think "Oh, this is going to be one of those long mental movies where you have to think about what's going on." And it is that kind of movie. You do think. You think JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME because that's what happens. It's not a movie about thinking. You get glimpses into the thoughts of the characters in this movie. They don't last long. Usually because that person dies while in mid-thought. lol Al the thinking goes on in the mind of the audience. You wonder "What the fuck would I do if I was in that situation? How long would I last?" In my case, I probably wouldn't have lasted long enough to be cast as an extra in the film. I'd have been like "Fuck this guys. It's too damn cold out here. I'm going home, keep the money." lol
Definitely one to watch again. I'm sure it'll survive the rewatchability test. My deceased father used to love good action movies, and I swear this is the first one since his death 6 years ago that i thought "I'm sorry my dad didn't live long enough to see this movie. He would have loved it." And he would have. It's a great action movie, with great acting, decent enough special effects that I didn't laugh, and it certainly didn't give me enough time to critique the film while I was watching it. lol
Just a tip, you'll want to watch this one past the end of the credits. I'm not sure exactly what I saw at the end there, but it gave me hope for a sequel. lol
In other news, the exceedingly hot and dry summer here has come to an end. We dropped back into the normal temperature range two weeks ago, and I've been chilly ever since. I can already tell there's a hard winter coming. So, all I have to do is survive the next 8 months until the temps warm up again. Wheee! lol I am gearing up for horror movie month in October! Be sure to check back here every day for new horror movie reviews starting october first! I've been saving up all my horror movies in my netflix queue. It's 500 movies strong and bursting at the seams with new arrivals. With any luck I'll find 31 movies I've never seen before, but at the very least, I'll try to make them movies I haven't reviewed before, just to keep things interesting here. Sure, the rest of the year my blog sucks, but so what? It's good in october! lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)