I'm Such A Stud

I just wanted to brag about how great I am with the ladies, and since I don't like to brag and nobody actually reads this thing, I think this is the place to do it.

So I have this, I don't know, you could call her a friend of a friend. I see her regularly, let's say. And whenever I ask her how she is, you know, just trying to be polite (not really caring how she is, to be perfectly honest), she responds with "I hate you." in that oh-my-god-is-this-asshole-talking-to-me-again tone of voice. Now I know it's not me, because I am not only smooth with the ladies, but am adored by one and all, so I know it's a problem on her end. She's obviously insane. I mean, I'm just trying to be civil, I have to see this person occasionally and I try to make nice and this is the response I get, so she's obviously a psychotic who's off her meds and I am sure we can all agree on that.

There's also this co-worker, I mean, I know we have to work together and all, so I do my usual "Hey, how are you, how did that visit with the psychic lady go?" Yes, this is the one who believes in psychics. She promptly responds with "It was interesting, I'd talk about it but you don't believe so I'd just get frustrated." And that was the end of that. Now honestly, I don't mind not talking to her, but at least I am trying, and since I am a manly stud who all women adore, I guess we all know who has the real problem here, don't we? She's obviously smitten with me and can't stand that I don't share her faith in the psychic lady's prediction that we should be married. Because frankly, I'm not really up for the whole wedding thing right now, I mean, I'm keeping my options open for the time being.

I use to have a friend who I emailed regularly but she stopped returning my emails. I'm not sure if she did it because I kept asking her to leave her husband for me or because I kept sending her nude pictures of myself in a santa hat. hey, it was the holiday season, isn't that a tradition?

Pfeh, these women nowadays, you give em pants and they want the world. I think my mom has even stopped speaking to me.