There have been so many star wars movies, and at this point, every new one is just a horrible disappointment compared to the original trio. I don't even know why they bother to keep making them, except $$$$$. And the hype is so ridiculous now, I mean, every single new movie coming out is like the "BEST! MOVIE! EVER!" and you watch it, and you end up crying a little bit that you wasted the microwave popcorn and scented body oils for that stinker of a movie. What? You don't rub yourself down with scented body oils while watching a new movie? Huh. Well, you're missing out. I rub myself down with scented body oils just to watch old episodes of batman. They give BONK! and KAPOW! an entirely new meaning, trust me.
The last Jedi (2017, Episode VIII, I think) continues the story of some dorky-looking girl from nowhere who has somehow magically become an unstoppable killing machine. In this episode, she's sent to go find Luke Skywalker, while princess leia's fleet comes under attack by Imperial Star Destroyers. Sorry did I say Imperial? I meant, First Order. I think. They look identical, so, who can tell the difference? Good old Princess Leia does her best to stall for time, holding off an entire armada, while she waits for Luke to fly into space with his Jedi mind powers and cut the death star in two with his lightsaber.
At this point, I think what the rebels are really looking for is Voltron, Defender of the Universe. Now wouldn't that make a good live-action movie?
So, anyways, the roles of Luke and Leia are reprised by Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. Harrison Ford (Han Solo) didn't make any appearances in this movie, because his character got killed off in the last episode. Pretty sure they got all the same actors from episode VII back to reprise their roles for this movie, but really, each of them get so little screen time that it's hard to notice any character development in any of them. I would say the robots have more personality, but honestly, how does BB-88 have that much room for coins inside his chassis? That makes absolutely no sense. If you've seen the movie on Netflix, you know what I mean. I wouldn't watch this again. Can you tell I'm not a huge Star Wars fan? Moving on.
Luke Cage (2018) is the continuation of the first season of Luke Cage, after Luke gets out of jail (he was incarcerated at the end of the last season). Having paid his debt to society, Luke must now contend with the evil not-so-super-villain Mariah Dillard, and a nearly-unkillable Jamiacan (I think) with powers similar to Luke's. Who's going to walk away from the super-throwdown of the season? Well, probably Luke Cage. It is his show, which he mentions in one episode.
Yeah, Luke Cage breaks the fourth wall, twice. Okay, it worked for Deadpool, sure, but come on. If all the marvel superheros are going to start talking directly to the audience, I'm going to start rooting for the super-villains to come and kick their sorry asses. Speaking of the Villains, the bad guys in this movie get more screen time than Luke. Not just the main one. ALL of them. I think the evil villainess's bodyguard's chauffer got more screen time than Luke Cage, or at least, more character development. Pretty sure all Luke Cage did this season was bounce bullets off of himself, and that's another thing. At what point do people stop trying to shoot him? I mean, I didn't even see a guy pull out a gun and go "Well, THAT was a stupid move, he's bulletproof." Nope, they still unload the entire clip into him, because Luke Cage spent all his money on squibs (little hollywood explosives that make it look like someone got hit with a bullet). Maybe next time, spend the money on good writers?
Rosario Dawson returns as Claire, which is awesome, because she's a great actress and I'd love to see more of her, in more ways than one (if you know what I mean, and I think you do). But, she's basically eye-candy and gets little screen time or character development here, and I think they chuck her out after the first half-dozen episodes (probably because she was actually making the show interesting. can't have that!). Also, I'm pretty sure every single character in this season makes so many bad decisions, that I can't even begin to count them. You thought people in horror movies were bad? Holy crap, watch season 2 of Luke Cage. You'd think down was up and left was right, and running towards a raging bonfire with a can of gasoline in one hand and a tank of oxygen in the other, was the best choice you could make.
Luke Cage season 2 is on netflix, if you want to waste your time. I'm wondering why I watched it in the first place. Maybe Netflix's strategy is to space the timing of the seasons out so much that you can't actually recall how bad the last season was, by the time you watch the next season. If that's their thinking, hey, guys, it's working! Only bright part of season 2 is, they don't say the N-word as much. At least that's an improvement over season 1. So, as far as political correctness goes, they're improving. I guess that's something? All the rest is going rapidly downhill. I mean, you know it's bad when the one-episode appearance of Iron Fist, whose own show was so god-awful that I still have nightmares about it, becomes the sole voice of reason and sanity. Seriously.
Okay, I watched other stuff, but that's all I am reviewing tonight. You guys have a good Independence Day on Wednesday, and try not to blow your weiners off... the grill. Yeah. Til next time!
