Happy Halloween!

And OHMRAT 2023 ends just as it began.  With a quiet whimper.  Sadly, I had no time this month.  Too busy trying to stay alive.  But, I did watch some horror movies.  So let's review a couple more (one of which was on Tubi, and the other i watched over the internet with a friend), and call it a night!

Fright Night, the remake with Anton Yelchin, I can't readily recall the year right now, and I'm too busy watching another horror with a friend online to go look up the date right now.  I much prefer the original Fright Night with Roddy Mcdowell (RIP) as Peter Vincent, but david tennant doesn't do a horrible job.  The remake is at least entertaining.  Same story, a guy named Jerry moves in next door to a teenager who's about to get lucky with his new gf, and wouldn't you know it?  The new guy is a vampire, who seduces the gf, and poor Charlie has to go and kill the vampire just to get her back.  Ugh.  so high school, amirite?  It's practically a rite of passage these days.

In the remake, Anton Yelchin (RIP) plays Charlie this time around, and as discussed, David tenant plays Peter Vincent, self-proclaimed Fearless Vampire Killer.  Of course, he's never fearless, and only kills vampires on TV.  I don't want to give away the ending, but I will say, they're running from the vampire on a lonely desert road at night, and someone plows into them from the rear, and wouldn't you know it, but who gets out of the car?  The actor from the original Fright Night!  Yes, the vampire dude!  Michael Nouri I think his name was.  Well, anyway, it was a cool part, and my eyes went like 0.0 when i saw it.  It was awesome.  Watch on Tubi because it's all I can afford this year.  Anyways, moving on.

Trick r Treat, with Anna paquin.  It's an interconnected tale of 4 stories, weaving in and out of each other, all happening on halloween night.  There's the tale of little red riding hood (Anna paquin), the story of the school principal gone wrong, the story of the aged bus driver, and the interconnected story of the long-lost kids on the bus he used to drive.  Through it all walks Sam, the weird little kid who just enjoys candy, and will kill you if you don't give him some.  Since I saw this movie, i always keep a spare piece of candy at my house, just in case.  You never know when Sam is going to come calling on halloween night.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

I typically don't like anthologies, regular readers of my blog here know this, though anyone who still reads my blog is pretty dedicated since i hadn't posted since last year until this month.  heh.   yeah, i am irregular, that is for sure.  Once my schedule settles down, i will try and post more often.  Life is chaotic right now.  May you live in interesting times, indeed.  Anyways.  Anthologies.  Don't like them. But this one has so many cool things and interconnected stories, it's like watching the airplane movie over and over.  you always find something new.  same thing with the vacation movies, at least for me.  just packed with things you don't notice until repeat viewing.

Well, that's it for tonight, it's getting late and I have horror movies to watch.  Hope you have a nice Halloween!  Stay safe.  Until next time, if there is a next time.  And just an unsubtle reminder, in case you have any spare cash you want to donate to keep me alive until I can settle my life down...

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-bork-not-die

Happy Halloween!  :-)

OHMRAT 2023 Begins

October Horror Movie Review-A-Thon (OHMRAT) 2023 is under way!  Yeah, I know, I'm a late starter.  It's friday the 13th and I tried to find a friday the 13th movie to watch.  Sadly, all I had was tubi and youtube to work with (given my terrible financial situation this year), so what I ended up with was Saturday the 14th.  But first!  Maniac Cop.

Maniac Cop (1988) is about, of all things a Maniac Cop.  I know, who would ever believe such nonsense, right?  Exacty what people thought back in 1988, I guess.  So I think it's important to note that the origin story pretty much happens before the original movie (there were several sequels) even starts.  Poor Mett Cordell was supposedly a good cop who was maybe a little too violent for the streets (or at least this is how the other cops in the movie characterized him) and was then sent to prison for violating someone's rights.  Of course, the prisoners murdered him in prison, but now, Officer Cordell has returned.

I'm surprised Maniac Cop wasn't a bigger movie than it was.  Sure, it spawned several sequels, but I barely recall this movie coming out back then.  Sure, I had seen it once or twice, but let's face it, I've seen just about every horror movie ever made.  You got Tom Atkins as grizzled Detective Mcrae (pretty sure tom atkins plays a grizzled detective in every single movie ever, because he's just the best grizzled detective ever), Richard Roundtree as the Mayor and of course, Robert Z'Dar as the title character, the Maniac Cop.  There's even Bruce Campbell as the young hero who gets framed for the murders.  The movie wasn't as long as some of the other horror films of the time, and there wasn't a ton of nudity, and maybe the subject matter didn't sit well with audiences?  I got nothing.  It's a good movie, and you can watch it on Tubi for free.

Saturday the 14th (1981) is about a family who inherits an old house with an even older book in it.  The young boy finds a book, and of course opens it to read it, because he's the smart one in the family.  But opening the book begins a sequence of events that lead inexorably to FRIDAY THE THIRTEE-  wait what?  No?  Sorry, my bad...  to SATURDAY THE 14TH!  Which, of coruse, comes immediately after friday the 13th.  Bad things happen on that day, apparently.

I loved this movie as a kid.  It's basically a spoof of horror movie, not quite ont he level of airplane, and it never takes itself very seriously.  It was a staple on HBO for years back in the 80s, but you just don't see it anymore.  So of course Tubi has it.  Fun movie, lots of sight gags and early-80s humor.

In other news, this may be my last OHMRAT.  Financial difficulties continue to plague me, and finding a job seems to be an impossible task at this point, though I am trying every day.  If you feel like contributing to my survival, I will post a link at the bottom of this post, and at every post this month.  In the meantime, happy friday the 13th!  Hope it brings you some luck.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-bork-not-die

Troll (2022)

Okay, my anuual thanksgiving post is a few days late, so before we get to that, I'm reviewing a horror movie!  Okay, well it's more of a monster movie.  A decently-budgeted new, monster movie!  Yes, of course I am talking about Troll on Netflix.

Troll (2022) is about, well, a troll.  Norway is drilling a tunnel through the mountains, and lo and behold, they wake up a troll.  I mean, nobody wants to call it what it is at first, but let's face it, it's a giant stone monster with a big nose.  So.  Yes.  A troll.

For those of you who have seen my reviews of Trollhunter some years back, the idea that Norway uses their mythology as the basis for their monster movies shouldn't surprise you.  Trollhunter was about a lone trollhunter running into a troll infestation triggered by some rabid trolls.  Trolls get rabies, you ask?  apparently, I guess.  I mean, that's what trollhunter said, I'm just going by the already-established mythology.  This movie follows in that same vein, digging deep into norwegian and possibly scandinavian mythology to make a really decent monster movie.  I think at one point some random newscaster even asked if the images of the troll were a Norwegian Godzilla.  :-D

I liked Troll.  The acting was decent, the actors even looked kind of familiar to me.  In fact, I think one of the ministers was in Lillehammer (yes, netflix's first foray into original content) about a decade ago.  The special effects were good and it was immediately obvious this wasn't a cheap monster flick.  The ending was a little predictable, but everything else was excellent.  Can highly recommend watching it on Netflix for an enjoyable evening, if you don't mind seeing the ending coming a mile away.

In other news, last week was Thanksgiving, and I usually do a giving-thanks post.  It's been a rough year.  Lost my mom back in march, and I am in desperate financial straits.  But I'm not going to bore you with my problems.  This is about what I am thankful for.  I am thankful my mom and dad lasted as long as they did.  I am thankful that I got to work out almost all my parental issues before my mom and dad passed.  I am thankful mom and dad thought to provide for me, even after they were gone.  I am thankful for all the good memories i've had in this house over the years, all the halloween gatherings and thanksgiving day meals, all the Christmas magic and new year's celebrations.  I'm grateful for all the summers in my big yard, wishing i had a pool.  I am grateful the house has held together all these years, and not just fallen apart due to old age, like the rest of us did.  I'm especially grateful for my friends on the internet, who have helped me keep my sanity through these hard times.  I'm thankful for my health, that I have a roof over my head right now, and that I have plenty of food to keep me fed for a while.  Let's just hope I figure out a way to keep the heat on.  :-D

Happy Holidays out there, everybody.  I know you're doing your best.  Just keep on keeping on.

31 - Fright Night (2011)

Last review of the month!  Got my 31 reviews in!  Yay!  Woohoo!  yippee!  Yaaaaaaa hooo hoo hoo hooooooeeeee!  Sorry, i got excited.  that last yahoooiee was a bit overboard.  No, trust me, i know, two hoo-hoo's is one thing, but three is right the hell out.

Fright Night (2011) is a story about a boy named Charley, poor high-school kid barely kept his girlfriend happy.  Then one day he was checking out his neighbor, and out of this house come a smooth-talkin vampyr.  Vampire, that is.  Bloodsucker.  Not the sparkly kind, either.

Sorry, couldn't resist a little beverly hillbillies humor.

i still prefer the original 1985 version of Fright Night, but this reboot isn't bad at all.  It's got the late Anton Yelchin as Charley Brewster, Colin Ferrell as the neighborly vampire, Jerry.  Toni Collete plays Charley's mom, David Tenant plays Peter Vincent this time around, and Imogen Poots is Charley's girlfriend Amy.  Effects were good, acting was excellent, the plot was cohereht and the ending was satisfying.  Can't really beat that combination, now can we?  I've seen it plenty of times and I keep coming back for more.

That's it for this month!  31 reviews in 31 days!  OHMAT is offically a winner this year!  Yay!

I think I am high on chocolate and sugar.  As I should be.  All is well.

In other news, I am still watching horror movies, and will be, all day and all night.  :-)

Happy Halloween, everybody!

29, 30 - The Influence, Rocky Horror

Continuing a stream of movies I have not seen before, two new ones tonight.  And yes, I know you're looking at the title and going "wait, he's never seen the rocky horror picture show before?" to which i answer "No, no I have not, and yes, I know it's like 45 years old, what's your point?" to which you would probably say something like "Dude!"  And then I'd just kind of look at you and shrug.  I don't know, I have all these weird conversations with people in my head, and reality never seem to go that way.

The Influence (2019) is about a nurse who returns home to care for her dying mother, and finds an evil influence in her childhood home.  Yea, that's pretty much the synopsis for the movie ripped right from netflix.  It's kind of hard to improve on it without giving things away.

This flick was another foreign language flick.  Spain seems to be making a lot of horror films lately, for which I applaud their efforts.  Viva espana!  or something like that.  Seriosuly though, you can't go wrong making a horror film.  Either you make a goofy piece of garbage and it becomes a cult classic, or you make a really good horror flick and it becomes a cult classic.  One way or another, the fans are going to find you, they're going to get you get you get you get you, one way, or another...  Sorry I've lapsed into song lyrics.  The acting was decent, the effects about average for a flick of this type.  The props department seemed to go out of their way on this one, finding a lot of old skulls and antlers and bones and magical amulets, and quite frankly the spider wrangler must have had his hands full.  of spiders.  Plot was coherent, at least.  Ending was okay.  Check it out on netflix if you want.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) is about a recently-engaged couple who get a flat on a lonely old road and end up hiking back to a castle full of sexual deviants.  Well, for the time.  I mean, this was 1975.  By today's standards, the "sexual deviants" are pretty normal.

I had never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show before today.  Mainly because there are a lot of singing numbers in it.  Susan Sarandon plays Janet Weiss, Barry Bostwick plays Brad Majors, and Tim Curry is, of course, Dr. Frankenfurter.  Meatloaf (the rock singer, not the ground beef dish) makes a brief appearance.  I forced myself to watch it this time.  No really, I had to force myself to watch it.  The singing numbers just sort of make me want to head into the other room and fold clothes.  It's a weird sort of response to musical numbers, I grant you.  In any case, we all know how the story goes.  I'm not going to give away any major spoilers here, even for a 45-year-old movie.  But let's face it.  They sing a lot.  That's not even a spoiler.  I'm not really a huge fan of musicals.

Acting was good, I mean, it's a cult classic, ffs.  I was watching it with some friends who mentioned something about "callbacks."  Took me a while to figure out what they were talking about.  I guess that's when the audience actually shouts back at the actors on the screen as they do their lines or whatever.  I was told this is so much better as a play, but I've never gone to see a play in my life, so I'm probably not going to start now.  Seeing Tim Curry belting out a song in drag was kind of cool.  Tim Curry is always awesome and Susan Sarandon has always been breathtaking.  Effects were, well, I mean, you've seen it, right?  I'm probably the only one on the planet who hasn't already seen it.  I guess this movie is viewed at midnight on Halloween night every year in some theater in NYC or something.  I have no idea.  I don't go to plays.  I think I mentioned this already.  Anyways, if you like musicals, i guess this one is a must.  No monsters, though.  Kind of a let down, there.

In other news, I am now all caught up.  One movie left to review for tomorrow and I have several options to go.  Since losing most of basic cable I'm not seeing the normal string of alloween movies that I'd watch every year, and this is probably the first year since the late 70s that I am not seeing it, but hey, I have the movie memorized, ffs.  If I miss it one year, I'll just pick up the tradition again next year, right?  Right.  Assuming I am able to.  I hope I am.  It's late, and I am still sore, and still recovering.  My left eye is doing this twitchy thing and my left arm is aching like it was broken and never quite healed correctly, but that never happened so I am just guessing that's what it feels like.  Hope you guys had a good Halloween weekend, and since it's now officially after midnight, Happy Halloween!  I'll be back tomorrow for one final review, capping off OHMRAT (October Horror Movie Review-A-Thon) for another year.  For now, enjoy what's left of your night!  Or get some sleep, you look tired.  Or, put down the bottle and find your pants.  Whichever applies to you.  You know which it is.

27, 28 - Eerie, Hubie Halloween

Yep, still trying to catch up on the movies for this month, but you know what?  Some of these movies really suck.  And since there's nobody at home tonight on the saturday two days before Halloween, except possibly me, I am watching whatever I gosh-darned well want to.

Eerie (2018) is about an all-girls catholic school that gets rattled by the suicide of a young girl.  There'sa  counselor that tries to look into what's going on, but she gets her impromptu investigation shut down by the senior nun who runs the school.  What's the nun trying to hide?  IS THERE EEVIL AFOOT?  ;-/

I think my summation is probably better than the actual movie here.  This one wasn't bad, another foreign-language film that occasionally switches to english just to throw off the subtitles. The plot is coherent, but the movie relies on jump-scares to generate tension and that's just lame.  Acting and effects were cheap and easy for a movie of this type.  Would probably have been better without the jump scares, but i guess they had to call it a horror movie for some reason.  Other than that, actually wasn't bad.  Check it out on netflix. worth a watch, the ending was actually not horrible.  One thing i want to mention before I wrap this up, the one young girlw as talking about all the horrible things her mother had done to her, and that horrible thing was... she cut her hair.  No, like, short.  yeah.  i laughed.  i think this movie was unintentionally funny, but not really scary, which makes it funny-scary.

Hubie Halloween (2020) is becoming a bit of a halloween favorite for me.  Hubie lives in Salem, and defends the people from monsters on halloween night every year.  The only problem is, there are no monsters.  So Hubie is kind of a pain in the but to the police, and everyone in town picks on him and makes fun of him.  But this halloween... yeah.  you know it.  This halloween is going to be different.

I think I first reviewed this one back in 2020, when it came out, but I'm reviewing it again.  It's got some good messages in it, and ends heart-warmingly well, which is unusual for a horror movie, but not for a horror comedy, which this is.  And lets face it, spooky season isn't just for fear-loving adults like myself, but also for the little kid in us that loves to be scared and safe at the same time.  Everyone in adam sandler's (hubie) usual films is in this, Rob Schneider, Steve Buscemi, some comedians from saturday night live, and even Ray Liotta, probably the last decent movie i saw him in before his death.  So if you're looking for a movie that makes you want to eat some halloween candy and hug your recently-deceased mother even though she's been in your house since her death almost 8 months ago, this is definitely the movie you want to watch.  I know, that's very specific, but there's at least one or two of you out there who know what I mean.  Yes, I'm talking to you.

In other news, it's halloween weekend and i'm still a movie behind.  Three movies to catch up on in two days!  Can I do it?  Can i review 31 moives in 31 days?  Probably not!  Tell you guys what, if I don't get 31 movie rviews in by monday night, I will eat a whole pizza, by myself, earlier tonight.  Hah, tricked you, I've already eaten a whole pizza by myself this evening, so the jokes' on you!  I'm covered either way.  If I flub it up and don't make it to 31 movie reviews, I've already eaten the whole pizza, and if i do make it to 31 reviews by monday night, then I had a hearty and very filling supper this evening!

I hope all of you are having fun this spooky season.  Maybe next year I'll actually be at a halloween party instead of sitting home watching sad halloween movies by myself.  Hey, stop giggling, it could happen.  I've been to Halloween parties before.  Okay, mostly when I was a kid, but not always.  Hey a lot can change in a year!  if I don't freeze to death this winter or starvve to death over the summer, I might actually be doing okay by next spooky season!  I guess we'll see how things go.  I am certainly living in exciting times.  Have fun peeps!  Halloween is almost upon us!

25, 26 - Hellhole, May the Devil Take You

 Okay, it's already after midnight so I am going to zip through these super quick.

Hellhole (2022) is a story about a bunch of women going missing near an old Monastery, so a police officer goes in there undercover to see if he can figure out what exactly is going on at the place.

I liked Hellhole.  It's a striaght-up horror fest with a bunch of cannibal monks hiding in plain sight.  Foreign film on netflix.  there were subtitles.  Acting was decent.  one of the funniest and most expected things i have always figured was supposed to eventually happen in a horror movie, finally happened, and took me by surprise.  made me laugh pretty hard.  not gonna ruin it for you, but you'll see what i mean.  trust me, the main protagonist finds it inappropriately hilarious as well.  Watch this one on netflix if you get the chance, i may watch it again next month if i have the time.  lots of gore, though.  effects were pretty decent for a movie of this type.  there was even a monster, too.  Ending was even good!

May the Devil Take You (2018) is one of those indian (like, from india) foreign horror flicks that deals with a lot of mthology I don't always follow.  Usuall there's witches involved?  I think there's one here too.

So this one was not as good as Hellhole, but they are both on netflix.  Acting was a little over the top.  Mostly jump scares here.  voodoo dolls are a thing.  I guess this one was good enough to spawn two sequels already, but I haven't seen those yet.  Maybe another time.

Okay, it's late, and there's not much else going on so I am calling it a night!  Til next time!